The silent partner

Dear Diary

I am really questioning myself every day since we moved from our state Pennsylvania to Georgia a year ago if I really made the right choice. One day my husband sprung this on me that he is not happy living in Pennsylvania anymore and he wants to move. My husband sprung this on me when I was still grieving over the loss of my sister, the loss of my Grammy Elsie and the loss of my brother-in-law and a very close friend who all died within two months apart from each other in the year of 2007. I tried to express to y husband how I felt and what I was feeling inside but it seems he was more determine to move than how I was feeling and what I was going through. He is my husband, regardless how I felt once again as always I gave into his needs and set aside my needs; so on September 4, 2008 we started our journey ending to our new move to Georgia.

When we arrived to Georgia, the property we rented for the first few months we lived in Georgia we were burglarized and robbed. Called the State Georgia troopers but the people we rented from told the police that we were from Pennsylvania and they did nothing. The landlord boyfriend even threatened my husbandwith a gun, he threatened to shoot him. In all my years I never been so frightened in my life. Right there and than I broke down in tears and literally screamed at my husband I want to g back home where I feel safe. By the ways do not rent from Linda Newsworthy, she is nothing but trouble. I had enough money Diary $1,500 to buy me another car but even that was taken. Before even moving down to Georgia I took a long walk down to my grocery store We-is in the little town I lived in Pennsylvania, walked around the store and the hiking path talking to God, what to do and asking for help with tears rolling down my eyes. I cried so many tears that day and was so confused. I had to sell my car that I just recently bought and only had for a year to raised the money up to move to another state where my husband wanted to go but I had a bad gutt feeling and did not want to move. I closed up like a little ladybug and said no more.

While walking around te path of the grocery store We-is I bumped into a man who was or friend and who worked with my husband and I got the chance to chat with him awhile in our conversation I mentioned we were moving to Georgia and even he tried to warn me. He stated be careful he said, the southerns don't like the northerners because they hold a grudge against the northerners because the northerners won the war. I walked home and mentioned to my husband what Tiny had said and even he still shut out what I was saying. And swept it aside. Now I am here, lived here for a year and I am still very unhappy and have no financial way and unable to move back home. My husband and I marriage has been growing further apart, he does his thing and I do mine. Our communication to each other is very little, maybe one word. I have tried to speak to my pastor for some spiritual guidance his response to me in his words to go back north where you belong. I would agree with him 100 percent but my other half don't and though the pastor was rude and ignorance to say that way to me when I went to him only for a spiritual guidance and some spiritual comfort.

Now I am here miserable, very unhappy, home-sick, miss my younger sister. If I did not have a cell phone and could not call home I be lost and got more home-sick. I have prayed and prayed to ask God for financial help, to be able to buy a car, 4 cylinder cheap on gas, even asked God I'll take an used one just so I can get out side more and go places, to run errands. Since we moved down here my husband's blindness have got worse and now I am the only driver so I told my husband I need a car to fit me. It hurts and I miss home but I am dealing with it the best way I know how. I don't trust the Georgia southern police and stay to myself. I live in a small community and they all talk about each other at the post office gossip station. If I was not burglarized or robbed I would had my 4 cylinder Ford Escort. Hey, that is life right. I forgive and trying to move on but I still wait to go home to be with my family and feel safe again. "WOW", since he would not listenor hear me I wrote down I been feeling inside since we oved to Georgia. Southern Hospitality my daughter said, maybe years ago before we were born but sure not thes new days. Everybody is all for themselves. If I met someone here that was friendly and kid than just maybe I wouldn't be so home-sick. I decided to stop attending the church I was attending since I moved to Georgia. Thank-You Diary for listening. I feel like a ladybug who is also getting tramped on and the ladybug who just wants to fly far away.