The Cross made a difference to me,Yes it did

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mw3DYtZCOyc

When I watched the Passion Christ and Left Behind and Revelation movies. It made me think about my life where it was heading. When I think about and see and read what Jesus Christ, how He payed the price for me, how sinners like me had crucified Him, I know I am not worthy of Him. My life may started out blue and gloomy. Growing up; I did not know which cross-roads to take. For I didn't have the right guidance or a roll model to look up to. In my teenage years I was filled with so much angry, so much bitterness and guilt I carried upon my shoulders which I became rebellious towards my parents and others around me. I only thought about myself of all the trials and tests I went through. My life wasn't getting better when I became an adult. I was going down the path of darkness, taking the road to destruction. Then the movie came out that Mel Gibson made I bought the movie and watched it over and over, several times. Every time the movie I shed many tears. I bowed my head in Prayer, cried out to the "Lord; I am sorry and confess of my sins. Life still did not get easier for me for I still had a lot to learn. I still holding onto angry towards those who have harmed me. I was angry for not having a childhood, angry and hurt. I was angry at my mother for not being there for me, and angry at my father for not protecting me. I was angry at the children who bullied me, children who crucified me and mocked me for no pa-rant reason. My thoughts and emotions were like a roller coaster. On several occasions it ran across my mind giving up the fight to end my pain for I could no longer take it no more. My burdens were so heavy and the scars of my memories were still open wounds. Thinking about when I watched the movie Passion of cross, seeing Jesus nailed to the cross and also was humiliated, He was crucified and mocked, the pain and wounds he bared and scarfice Christ did for me. I know I made many wrong choices in my life and took many wrong paths. I was so confused, so depressed. I even gave up caring for others, as I said my heart became bitter.

Although the Lord open many gates, many doorways, my angry and stubbornness and unforgiven were taking control my life. I still have a long road to go to recovery, God still tests my faith. Then one day God really gave me an eye opener on January 17,2007. When I received the phone call from my younger sister that our sister was ill and dying of cancer. God used me those four months she was lay-ed up in the hospital fighting this awful deadly disease called cancer. I did not know know what words to say to comfort her but God gave me the words. He used me to witness to my sister Peg, one of conversation I asked my sister was she saved, did she have personal relationship with Christ? Would she like to pray with me the salvation prayer? She nodded her head up and down, her answer was yes. "Lord, I said I can't do this for my life is not right, use somebody that is more experience then I. Well, I prayed with my sister, she excepted Christ in her heart and excepted Him as her personal Savior. What peace I saw over her after our prayer.

I took a long look at my life and where my life was heading, even questioned my salvation, questioned my relationship with Christ! It wasn't until my husband and I moved down South and started attending a Southern Baptist Church that my eyes were open. One Sunday a few months ago we sang songs but at the end of the service they had an invitation to come up to the alter to pray and confess of our sins. Remembering the song Just As I am, I stood up walked up to the Alter asked the pastor to pray with me. I am a sinner, I stand before God and confess all my sins, Pastor I said; I know now and understand the road I was taking was the wrong road, the road of darkness and destruction. I want to change right now and confess of my sins, except Jesus as my personal Savior, be cleansed and washed as white of snow. I felt that day that a big burden was lifted off my shoulders, I felt a peace come over me. I still have many mountains to climb, many hills to walk over but when it comes across my mind of my childhood past and my past how I lived in the world as a sinner, all the wrong choices I made, I think Of the cross on Calvary, I see on that cross Jesus Christ with nails in his hands and feet, I am reminded of how the people crucified and mocked Him, reminded of seeing how the soldier gave Jesus bitter vinegar, the words Jesus spoke; " Father; Why hath thou forsaken Me! Reminded when Jesus took His last breathe, the sky turning dark after Jesus died.

The old Rugged Cross made a differences in my life. It helped me to choose the right road so I chose the road of the cross. The song says it all, don't just listen to it, Listen to the words, the words are powerful and so true and meaning.